Author: Arpaporn Puengyod, MD.
Siblings
Siblings mean many persons born from the same father and mother (brethren), or that of his father or mother alone (brother and sister of the same father, brother and sister of the same mother) including an older sister and younger sister, older brother and younger brother.
Relationships between/ among brothers and/ or sisters
Brotherly relations come into various forms. A good example of the relationships is helping, sharing, playing, emotional support and a consultant since siblings can understand each other's problems better, have effective interactions, help solve problems among them, and sometimes talk on some secret issues that may not talk to anyone else such as sex and so on.
Apart from good relationships siblings may have bad relationships such as fighting or brawling arising from jealousy of each other.
Factors affecting the relationships between/ among brothers and/ or sisters include.
- Parental treatment
- Birth order
- Personality of each child
- People and experiences outside the family
Sibling Rivalry
Sibling rivalry refers to jealousy, competition and struggle between/among brothers and/ or sisters. Violence is more common in siblings of the same gender and close in age.
Sibling rivalry problem is found before or after a new baby was born. When this happens, it usually continues throughout childhood. Sometimes, it may persist until adulthood. Studies found that 1 in 3 adults has problems in jealousy between siblings. However, most relationships will improve over time.
Expressions
Sibling rivalry issue can be expressed in many forms. In mild cases, it shows some characteristics like this. Strong reluctance to share, lack of positive regard or paucity of friendly interactions. The severe case, children will be very competitive to vie for the attention of their parents and might lead to violent behaviors or fighting or physical behavior harming the other.
Some children may show up emotional and behavioral problems like behavioral regression, babyish behaviors, increase confrontational or oppositional behavior with the parents, temper tantrums, dysphoria exhibited such as anxiety and social withdrawal, sleeping disturbance, etc.
Causes
Brothers rivalry issue is caused by the struggle for limited resources: time, love, attention and acceptance from parents. It is also caused by internal factors of children and parents as well.
Childs Factors
- Personality, temperament such as isolated child or a child hard to feed
- Poor relationship with others. Do not know how to build a good relationship with others.
- Place in the family
- Differences in age and gender
- Child with special needs such as developmental delay, illness and disability
Parents Factors
- Lack of time and lack of child care
- Having attitudes that accept violence
- Not being a good role model for their kids. Instead, showing a child that violence
- Family problems- starting brawling in front of a child
- Parents having stresses and anxieties that affect child care
How to raise a child as to avoid sibling rivalry
Get a child ready to have a new baby.
Point out to him how cute a baby is.
Should tell him during pregnancy that a mother is having a baby for him.
Tell the advantages of having a new baby.
Do not raise a new baby to threaten a child as to behave well and do not make him negative about having a younger one. Examples include;
- Will love an infant more than a child if he behaves badly.
- No one will love him if he is naughty. You will be left alone. Everyone will love a baby.
Let him have a sense of belonging for an infant after delivery.
Allow him a chance to take care of his younger one.
Give a child the major role: a sense of his importance.
Take pride in the brotherhood.
Praise a child when he helps take care of a baby.
Pay the same attention to a child.
Pay attention to a toddler in parallel with a new one.
Never put most of the time for only a baby.
Never compare one child to another.
Do not focus on ones superiority.
Parents need to have a sincere love equally for both kids.
Bibliography
1.Sibling Rivalry from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sibling_rivalry.
2.Nongpa-nga Limsuwan (BE2542). Proper Feeding Makes a Happy Life, Bangkok: Made Info GD, Co., Ltd. BE2542.
