Number One Mom
Panpimol Wipulakorn, MD
Nurturing a child is not a memorization of knowledge, that is to say, acquiring an excellent grade of 4 on the examination but it cannot be able to be flexibly applied to raising a child. As a result, a child cannot grow up as a robot anyway.
My Sisters Keeper is encouraged for all parents to watch if a chance is allowed. It is a story of a mom with 2 daughters and 1 son. One of her daughters is sick of cancer. A mom is striving for taking care of her sick daughter to her full competence until she is reaching a teenager. Eventually, her last stage of life is coming. The plot is started when her younger daughter files a lawsuit again her mother requesting for medical protection when rejecting a request for kidney donation for her older sister who is suffering from a cancer. Her lawyer asks a mom whether she is asking for her daughters consent for this. I have to make a decision, though without asking my daughter but I insist to always do the best for my off-springs, replied a mom. A lawyer responds that you do stay for only one daughter and who will do for another one. In real life a mom must face a scenario in which she has to make a decision and, of course, she will always choose the best option for her children. The movie offers solutions for everyone in a complex situation facing a family.
Social expectations throwing upon a mother is regarded as a great mission to make her feel happy to fulfill her roles. Frequently, the fulfillment of her mission has some conflicts on her feelings that insufficient actions are yet done. Someone is disappointed and put the blame on herself whether better performance could be carried out. Expectations are still regarded as a house caretaker, especially for cleanliness, tidiness and food acquisition for all family members including being a person who makes a family warm and emotionally related. Mom would like to do whatever expected her to do with her best but how to measure whether it is better than it is or it was. How would it be flexible to take her roles?
A Mom with Excellent Academic Record (Grade 4)
Nowadays, a part from doing duties as expected, there is a series of newly useful knowledge and nutrients necessary for a childs growth, emerging diseases, development of a child according to child growth standard table, and a variety of experiences in nurturing a child flowing in through various channels. However, raising a child lies upon a mother as the heart of nurturing. Raising a child is not a memorization process of knowledge to obtain an outstanding grade 4 on the examination but it cannot be a guarantee of flexible application to raising a child. A child cannot grow like a robot.
Learning Opportunities
It is widely accepted that children with readiness for learning according to their age ranges if proper supports are provided. It is a chance for them to be developed to their full potential as their internal competence. However, for good learning they will need time to relax, freely play, enjoy learning things of their interests and do some trials and errors in order to discover new things. Mother will also need time to rest while they rest. Let them play while they play. Mother only observes them at all times. She will be happy keeping an eye on them and playing with them. This will gear up her energy as well. Trial and errors are for them to do some mistakes or mother herself can do some without dangers posing for them, and we will learn together from the mistakes. In addition, do not get stuck with blaming ourselves so that the next step is not possible.
Stay with Reality
The best is eternal. Nevertheless, good mother can be sensed that vital time is spent with your children. All mothers cannot be mothers at all times. They will need time to bathe, read favorite books and do some business. Some often feel that it is not enough at all. They want to do some more so it turns out to be a pressure. Staying together is the happiest moment but a mother is always busy with her work. The house is dirty while critical business is still pending. She needs some time to manage her routines and learn about time management. For example, time is divided into a quarter. First section is for personal issues, second is for children and family, third for household chores and the last for business outside the family accordingly.
We know our children best!
Books, textbooks, guidelines and hearsays are wide pictures that help in raising children; however, parents are the ones who know them best. The applications of books require reading a variety of them. Do not adhere to them so that understanding of the nature of children is left behind. More importantly, constant concerns whether improper foods or improper trainings are supplied for them resulting in lacking of confidence in learning of new things along with children. Try spending more time to observe their nature, adjust the ineffective ways you have ever used and seek for new remedial options to treat them each day.
Why you are not like others!
Do not compare yourself with other mothers, especially for those who are unemployed. You will feel that the others are doing better than you do. Each of them has different ways to raise their child. If there is an opportunity to share the nurturing methods, do make it as a mother instead of putting the blame on another side. Then, turn it into encouragements and confidence in changing ways to treating children. Finally, mother has to choose the best method suitable for children and family.
Stop thinking or doing repeatedly!
The last thing for some mother who discovers that self-control is not possible. Start checking everything relating to children, do things again and again to assure that everything must be perfect even though careful examination is taken place but still worried. Consequently, become a repeated doer or thinker. Stop and relax. Find a favorite activity to reduce stress or share some responsibilities with a husband. If the above issues still exist, seeking professionals for advice and therapy before a child will absorb this kind of anxiety.
All would like to be number one mom and she has done this with heartfelt that a child can sense. It would be great if you do watch the movie from the beginning till the end that a daughter expresses her best memory with the presence of her mom to say that mom has given her enough and she wants her mom to let her go. Mother may not be able to do everything for the off-springs but she does well for them.
